Authenticity Rule #6 - The Mask Rule: Know Your Enemies

Authenticity Rule #6
The Mask Rule: Know Your Enemies

You have a variety of forces working against your ability to be the best of yourself as a presenter. These forces mask your authenticity and should be viewed as enemies, i.e. you need to know them intimately and you need to fight them.

Following are three of the most enduring enemies presenters have battled for centuries:

1. Tepidness

You must be engaging as a presenter, especially in today's busy and noisy world. If you take a tepid approach to either your content, your topic, your audience or the actual act of presenting, you are telling your audience to not listen. This tepidness comes across primarily from your non-verbals, which make up 60% of the meaning of your message for your audience members.

Lukewarm Non-Verbals

• Monotone speech pattern
• Lack of eye contact
• No variety in facial expressions (as well as no smiling)
• No variety in volume
• Lack of gestures

Tepidness is also revealed by using weak language. Weak language includes wishy-washy words like "kind of, sort of, maybe, possibly." These words suggest that you may be saying one thing, but either you really don't firmly believe it or you aren't passionate enough about what you are saying to take sides. Effective, authentic presenters don't sacrifice passion for diplomacy.

2. Separation

Our second enemy is the most relevant to your audience because it concerns their world - not connecting with your audience. You should be very concerned with separation from your listeners. This enemy can be defeated both on location and during the preparation process.

On location you can start connecting with your audience even before you start speaking. Mingle with them, ask questions, demonstrate interest in their answers by asking follow-up questions and learn names (and use them in your presentation). During your presentation, make direct eye contact, avoid using a podium, and be aware of any sensory needs they might have (lights, temperature, microphone volume, outside noise level, etc.)

You can also help ensure a strong connection with your audience by doing your homework far in advance. Ask yourself questions about your audience and then build both your content and your technique around the answers. Nancy Duarte, author of the great presentation slide development book Slide:ology, suggests putting together an audience persona. Click here to view a PowerPoint slide with her seven audience research questions.

3. Blandness

Your job as a presenter is to move your audience in one or many of the following ways:

Intellectually (to teach)
Emotionally (to inspire)
Physically (to direct)
Conceptually (to show)

Movement requires attention. Attention requires motive. Your audience will listen to you, believe you/your content and even act upon this belief if you give them a good enough reason. One of the best reasons to listen is newness, freshness, creative ideas, etc. If your presentation is bland, your audience will start checking out the second you start. The blandness enemy shows up most commonly in two areas, logistical and content.

Logistical Blandness - When a presenter does things the way they have always been done: same room set-up, same visual aids, same presentation length, same audience interaction, etc.

Content Blandness - When a presenter uses content that is safe, but over-used: commonly used quotes, stories, facts, data, etc.

Your audience members' brains require fresh stimuli to motivate attention. Give it to them. Give your presentation some life, zest, excitement, and flavor. They will not only thank you for it, but they will also be more willing and able to take action. This is the hallmark of all truly authentic presenters. The experience and their content have a long life because it is unique and thus easier to remember.



This list of enemies is in no way complete. However, if you tackle just these three enemies, you are well on your way to creating a room full of friends.

Developing Your Stories

I just picked up a great book that every speaker should digest: The Story Factor by Annette Simmons.

Here is a strategy from Annette on how to develop two of your six important stories:

Developing “Who Am I /Why I’m here” Stories:

Step One: What personal qualities make you a trustworthy person? Are you compassionate, smart, courageous, honest, etc?

Step Two: Since you can hardly walk into a room and expect people to believe “I am a trustworthy person”, choose one of these qualities and develop a three-minute story that delivers evidence of that quality:

A time in your life when this quality was tested.
A person/event in your life that taught you the importance of this quality.
A time when you failed your own standards and decided to never let it happen again.
A movie/story/event that exemplifies this quality for you.

Step Three: Find someone to listen to your story. Ask them to tell you what they like about the story and what this story tells them about you. Ask them to refrain from making suggestions or giving a critique. Tell it again to someone else.

Step Four: Tell your story the next time you give a presentation or try to influence someone…if it works, tell it again.

If you found that valuable, you will love her book!

A New Way to Think About Crowd Size

Old Thinking: As the crowd size goes up, so does the impact. (Due to sheer #'s.)

New Thinking: As the crowd size goes down, the impact goes up. (Due to message specialization.)


Why is this graph important? Because many times we get more excited, nervous, prepared, etc. when we have the opportunity to speak in front of a large crowd. I have spoken in front of crowds ranging from six-thousand, nine-thousand and fifteen-thousand. I know the feeling.

And then there are the smaller groups. If we only have a few hundred or even just a few total, we tend to think about them as less important or less significant.

However, it is in these smaller venues that a speaker, trainer or teacher can really make a personal impact. IF you leverage the specialization opportunity. Here are a few suggestions...

• Get to know why each individual is there.
• Read body language and adjust accordingly.
• Ask specific questions and adjust based on the answers.
• Survey the group beforehand to learn specific, useful information you can use in your presentation.
• Go into more detail (it is ineffective to give large groups complex information)

Establishing Credibility In A Small Group Environment

A question posed to me recently by a consultant who works with smaller groups and is called to lead and direct them into new and sometimes challenging directions:

"How do I deal with feeling the need to establish credibility as a young female with only a few years of experience to her name?"

Here are a few suggestions I posed to her:

Great question. I think the biggest tool you have to overcome this is your content preparation. Know your stuff and be ready to provide real, tangible value. Of course, you also have to establish your personal credibility, but if you have the knowledge part ready, you can do this through establishing trust in you as a person.

So, what does this look like? Here are a few quick techniques that come to mind. Many of them I am sure you are probably already doing - you might just not be applying the appropriate amount of weight to their importance.


* Learn names and find common ground with the group members.

* Ask questions about their expectations, their job role, etc. Express genuine interest in learning about their world.

* Make an effort to discover the "Elephant in the room" (if their is one.) Express your concern about it and get everyone's take on it. This shows your interest in learning from them, as opposed to setting up the sessions as a one-way conversation.

* Smile, be friendly, express genuine charisma.

* If necessary, mirror the participants' body language to connect with them in a passive way (if they are sitting, you sit. If they are chatting, you chat. If they are discussing a news topic, you join in.)

* Give value immediately. If they do perceive you as "a youngster," this will disarm them.

* Highlight the positive sides of being younger (while not talking about them in direct terms - i.e. don't say, here are five reasons why me being born in the 80s is a good thing) and how those traits are of great benefit to the relationship. A few that come to mind are energy, fresh perspectives, willingness to challenge the norm, etc.

* Be mindful of your body language. There are many small cues that communicates confidence. You should employ as many as you can: smile, calm demeanor, direct eye contact, responsive body language, asking questions, well-groomed, conservative attire, standing tall, sitting tall, leaning forward, taking notes, speaking clearly, using simple/clear/firm language.

Phenomenal Storytelling Tutorial!

Storytelling 101

View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: rockstar maverick)

A Word of Caution

This is why the title of the book is Authenticity Rules: How to be a Real (and real good) Presenter. Don't forget the real good part...

The Authenticity Rules Book

The book is done.

Huge thanks to my business partner, friend for life and best wife I have ever had for hours and hours and hours of hard work on this project. I would probably be digging ditches somewhere instead of living my dream job of speaking if I didn't have you.

More info to follow....

Preparation = Separation

If you want your presentation to sound like, look like and be like every other speech, training, class or workshop, then only put a little bit of effort into preparing.

If you want to separate yourself from the rest and have greater impact, an authentic performance, more creativity, fresher ideas and a remarkable presentation, invest more time on the front end.

Never settle for your first ideas. They are just the seeds to more authentic-rich ideas. It is funny how long it takes and how much preparation goes into being an authentic presenter.

World Championship Advice

Big thanks to Andrew Dlugan over at the Six Minutes blog for posting an interview he did with the recently crowned 2008 World Champion of Public Speaking, LaShunda Rundles. She is the first woman to gain the title since 1986 and the first African-American woman ever. I haven't heard her speech, but the interview is both inspiring and informative.

Here are three answers highlighting Authenticity as a critical factor in her success (and yours)...

Question: Having gone through six separate speech contests this year, what lessons have you learned from competitive speaking?  The thing I learned most from competitive speaking is that you have to stay genuine.

Question: Studying other speakers and developing self-awareness are necessary to grow as a speaker. What do you consider your greatest strengths as a speaker? How about weaknesses: what speaking skills or habits are you currently striving to improve?  My greatest strength as a speaker is the ability to stay truthful. I find my message and I let my words guide me from there. Also, I don’t try to become too staged. I work to have a conversation with the audience not a one-act play.

Question: What other advice can you give to Six Minutes readers who are striving to become more confident and effective speakers?  To become a better speaker I encourage people to just practice, practice, practice. You have to get comfortable in your own skin.

4 Books You Need

I have read, studied and use the techniques from all four on a daily basis. A phenomenal $60 investment...

Slide:ology on Amazon (Used from $20.95)

Presentation Zen on Amazon(Used from $17.86)

Made to Stick on Amazon(Used from $14.00)

Brain Rules on Amazon (Used from $17.78)